Kipper and cold pizza

Dear Hildegaard

Dear Hildegaard,

This morning we hit frostbite temperatures but you still wanted to play in the snow. Instead of letting you freeze your baby toes off, we spooned some into a tupperware bowl and let you sit in your highchair, using your plastic toolset on the crunchy flakes: drilling them, flattening them, and eating the icy bits. Sometimes I feel like we’re doing parenthood right.

However, just thirty minutes earlier, I was letting you eat cold pizza for breakfast in front of the TV, watching Kipper on Amazon Prime. While washing the dishes, I could hear the murmuring of Martin Clunes’ gentle British voice and I chuckled to myself, thinking about all the Mom-stagram “rules” I was breaking.

There are aspirational books and blogs on parenting that guilt and inspire - probably in equal measure. And then there are those meant to relieve parents stuck in survival mode who haven’t showered in five days, brushed their daughter’s hair, or vacuumed recently; the ones allowing too much screen time and pushing too little protein.

Both have their audience. Often, it’s the very same one. Today I might want to learn the top five gentle approaches to toddler tantrums, while tomorrow I might feel more like reading about the mom who lost her temper after locking her keys in the car during a Walmart run with the kids. Both articles respond to a felt need:

1. I want to be the best parent ever.

2. I want to know I’m not the only one failing at being the best parent ever.

I’m not sure how old you’ll be when you read these letters. Maybe you’re reading them in your teens and aren’t yet thinking about being a mom. Or maybe you’re reading them with your arms full of babies, or full of grandchildren. Maybe you never have children. I don’t know. But I do know this, no matter what stage of life, we all feel like we are failing at something.

And while Scripture calls us to sainthood, there is also the regular acknowledgement that we will fail. As Paul grew in faith, he saw his failure more and more, finally declaring himself the “chief of sinners.” As we grow to realize our desperate need for a Savior, we must also grow in our devotion to looking up to where our Savior lives, seated at the right hand of God the Father.

There is holy humility and selfish introspection.

It is our job to ask the Holy Spirit to help us decipher which we are investing in.

Because that blog about the mom who fed her kids cold pizza and Kraft mac & cheese five days in a row? It’s only helpful if I am looking up. And that book about the right way to teach your children catechisms and theology? It’s only beneficial if I am looking up.

What are you proud of lately?

Look up.

What do you feel less-than about?

Look up.

Behold the righteousness of God through the faithfulness of Jesus.

See the mercy seat, accessible through faith.

Because there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

I need you to know and believe the stunning truth that while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.

Because whether you feel like you are succeeding at life or just barely getting by, God loves you just the same, and so do I.

P.S. Sometimes cold pizza and Kipper is exactly what a kid needs. Pray, look to Jesus, and live free.