I acknowledge the threads that are showing in these days and (as one whose threads have shown much around small children) wanted to assure that there is and will be a sovereign memory loss for most of it. The very pieces that keep you up at night, wrapped in worry and motherhood guilt, are the very pieces she someday won't recall at all. You are the memory keeper, dear Rachel. And that is so hard. And yet it is precious too because your Hilde-bear will walk free of some of these dark hours. Today you are alive and you pointed to the cross, therefore: YOU WON EVERYTHING. Praying... xx
I love this so much. Your words are able to capture my experience so well - I often share them with my husband to say, “this is how I feel.” Thank you for sharing them.
I'm praying tonight for Evan's safety and healing, and for strength for you to bear up under this. Also, I've only gone through *one* truly hard thing in my life, and it wasn't nearly as wide and deep as I think yours was, but I'm grateful because you put it into words perfectly, and this, this: you're not alone in experiencing life this way after - "I don’t think I’ve ever fully recovered from the realization that God’s love and suffering coexist. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over the book of Job, honestly, or the habit of looking over my shoulder."
Oh my dear one... Love and prayers, always.
I acknowledge the threads that are showing in these days and (as one whose threads have shown much around small children) wanted to assure that there is and will be a sovereign memory loss for most of it. The very pieces that keep you up at night, wrapped in worry and motherhood guilt, are the very pieces she someday won't recall at all. You are the memory keeper, dear Rachel. And that is so hard. And yet it is precious too because your Hilde-bear will walk free of some of these dark hours. Today you are alive and you pointed to the cross, therefore: YOU WON EVERYTHING. Praying... xx
I love this so much. Your words are able to capture my experience so well - I often share them with my husband to say, “this is how I feel.” Thank you for sharing them.
Rachel you write so beautifully! You have a God given talent bringing your written words to life❤️
Thank you.
I love reading your words.
Rachel, you are one of the most beautiful writers. ❤️
You are the voice for so many than can’t express themselves. Thank you for that. Hugs to you all.❤️
I'm praying tonight for Evan's safety and healing, and for strength for you to bear up under this. Also, I've only gone through *one* truly hard thing in my life, and it wasn't nearly as wide and deep as I think yours was, but I'm grateful because you put it into words perfectly, and this, this: you're not alone in experiencing life this way after - "I don’t think I’ve ever fully recovered from the realization that God’s love and suffering coexist. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over the book of Job, honestly, or the habit of looking over my shoulder."