Talking Back to Purity Culture

a book on sexuality

In 2020, my first non-fiction book was published through InterVarsity Press. This book was the result of three years of research, writing, and interviews, flowing from my studies through the Divinity program at The University of St. Andrews in Scotland. But it was also a response to my own personal grappling with what had happened to my first marriage.

It’s a book about how to honor God and His Word in the ways we talk about sex, purity, modesty, sexuality, and our desire for connection. It’s a book about examining what we got wrong and what we got right, and how to move forward.

"As an educator of college students for more than three decades, I understand well the difficulties in helping young people sort through the mixed messages from both the church and the culture regarding sex. It is easy, in correcting the falsehoods of the world, to make errors in the opposite direction. Rachel Joy Welcher navigates these tensions scripturally, wisely, and compassionately―and does so within a wide range of topics of concern to people of all ages and all stages of life. Talking Back to Purity Culture is a book I will recommend over and over, not only to my students but to all who are striving toward a more holistic and biblical understanding of human sexuality in these times."

- Karen Swallow Prior

The book initially received some backlash from conservative readers who thought it was going to be yet another manifesto bashing conservative evangelicalism. Others assumed, from the sassy title, that it would attempt to undermine what God has said in the Bible about sexuality, it’s purpose, and His plan for it.

As the book circulated a bit, it was the progressive Christians who became most angry with me. They had hoped my book would throw the baby out with the bathwater, and I disappointed them. I have been labeled as ushering in “Purity Culture 2.0” because of my stubborn insistence in a traditional, orthodox view of sex (that it is intended to be enjoyed in marriage between one man and one woman).

Overall, I offended readers from all ends of the Christian spectrum, and have been asked to be a guest on a lot of podcasts.

"I typically bristle at the mention of purity culture because I often think it's an excuse for the church to reject a good and flourishing sexual ethic and the importance of training our children. And yet I find myself reading Rachel Welcher's work with interest because she is saying some very important things for Christians to heed. Rachel calls us to reject both a works-based futility and a hedonistic lifestyle; both lead to spiritual poverty. Instead, Rachel urges us to adopt a gospel-centered sexual ethic that is countercultural in both its approach and in its pathways to grace. So read this book and learn from one of the most gifted writers of our time, and be drawn, once again, to the beautiful and sacred old paths God has laid out for us."

- Daniel Darling

Over the last few years, the book has been embraced by the readers I always imagined and prayed for: those who desperately want to honor God with their bodies, their desires, and their sexuality, but know that what they were taught growing up was problematic. I spoke at Biola University a couple years back, and afterward, was flooded with students who wanted to buy the book and share some of their questions and struggles with me. I’ve never experienced anything quite like this group of students: so earnest, so determined to be holy, and yet so humble and honest. It made me excited about this generation. The kids are alright.

"Talking Back to Purity Culture is saturated with gospel truth and clarity that confronts the overwhelmingly legalistic, shaming, and hopeless rubric of purity culture―especially the ways in which it blames young women for the sins of their brothers and fathers. Parents, and especially you moms, it's time to speak the truth to your children about sexuality and to assure your daughters of their worth as created in God's image. I'm thrilled to recommend this wonderful book."

- Elyse Fitzpatrick

For the past five years, John Brown University has had students in their Human Sexuality class read the book as a part of their coursework. Each semester, I hop on a Zoom call with that semester’s class to answer their questions and discuss this ever-evolving conversation. It has been one of my favorites fruits of this book.

"Purity rings. Abstinence pledges. Promises of delayed gratification bringing awesome married sex. These―and many other practices and teachings―have characterized evangelical purity culture. And they've done some damage. In Talking Back to Purity Culture, Rachel Joy Welcher holds to a high view of Scripture and its sexual ethic, challenges prosperity thinking, and calls Christians to a better way―one that celebrates embodied living at any age or stage, views others as creatures worthy of respect, and has as its focus the glory of God. I can't think of one demographic that wouldn't benefit from this book."

- Sandra Glahn

Many writers have come along since to continue this conversation in beautiful and challenging ways. At the same time, other writers have come along who decided that the only way to recover from our checkered past of destructive messages regarding purity is to chuck God’s sexual ethic into the sea. I can’t get down with that. I won’t. And so the conversation, the debates, and the needed reflection rage on.

I was honored to speak at the Exiles on Babylon conference last year in Denver, CO, hosted by Theology in the Raw. The conversation there was a reminder to me that we will need to keep revisiting how to talk about these topics, in light of the grace and truth of God’s Word, until Jesus returns.

You can purchase the book here.