On Patience
Oh God give me wisdom, she
is just a kid. Her shrieks make
my eardrums vibrate and my
brain buzz, but she is just a kid.
She says she asked Jesus to forgive
her. Do I bring up sins that you
have already blown into the wind,
and flung as far as the East is from
the West? But how else do I teach
her? How do I show her the way of
holiness and kindness and patience
and long-suffering? She has already
forgotten her preschool crimes and
is off pretending to be an ambulance,
but I remain stewing over it all. Deep
down, I must have thought that my
child would be the one kid on earth
to learn all her lessons the first time.
The one who would never hit another
child, or in this case, throw a toy
tractor at their head. I think, perhaps,
it is easier to be frustrated with a three-
year-old than it is to admit that my own
response to the dishwasher flooding
the kitchen floor is a greater Teacher
than any lecture before - or after -
naptime. I have the power, in my body,
to show her the way. Will I spill forth
both bitter and sweet water from the
same cup? Yes. Jesus, please forgive me.
And fling my failings into the wind.
Oh, my friend. How every conscious mom with Christ abiding in her has felt every bit of this! We fall in his mercy! Again and again and again, and pray our children will too. 🙏
So often I would pray , "God raise these kids right in spite of me." And He did. Keep praying. You sound like a great mom!