Dear Hildegaard
Nearness and puddles
Dear Hildegaard,
Today, while puddle-jumping, you paused and grabbed both of my hands in yours. You pulled me right into a puddle with you, so that we could stomp and splash together. You’ve done this a few times lately, once when I was doing the dishes and you wanted me to watch Pooh Bear with you, and another time when you were playing outside and I wasn’t near enough. My hands in yours.
You are getting so independent - climbing stairs, picking up toys, and telling us what you want to wear - but you still love nearness. And I want to ask: can it stay this way forever? When I am old, will you still grab my hands from time to time, and take me with you?
I want to see the world through your eyes. I want to splash and jump and watch Pooh Bear forever. Or drive you to college, eat ice cream, and talk about faith around a picnic table. Whatever form it takes, let’s stay close. Okay? Forever.
My son, age 3.25, moved up to the preschool music class yesterday. He seemed fine when I dropped him off to go to the parents’ waiting area. Then a minute or so later, I heard his unmistakable scream. It turned out he was doing something that was a “no no,” but no one corrected him. This alerted him to the fact that I wasn’t there, and he broke down in tears. I had to join him for the rest of the class. He wanted to hold my hand and have me do all the activities with him. Well, I hope he can reach the point where he doesn’t need me for that, but he’s not great with words right now, and having him grab my hand is kind of like an, “I love you, mommy.” I’ll take what I can get.
Enjoy the moments with your sweet Hilde, time passes quickly 💕