Dear Hildegaard

The God who made you

Dear Hildegaard,

One of the very first words you learned how to say was: God. This shouldn’t surprise anyone considering who your Dad is. We taught you that first simple, but profound, catechism before you could walk: 

Q: Who made you?
A: God. 

Sometimes you say “dog” now, to be silly. But you have known, since you were very small, that God was your Creator. I’ve been reading the book of Hosea lately, and I am struck by just how important it is to God that we get this right. He cares about whether or not we know Him and follow Him. 

In Hosea, God says that he wishes his people would just be faithful. He is tired of their sacrifices and burnt offerings after they sin. He wants them to long to worship Him first. No more “oops” and “I’m sorry,” just good, old-fashioned faithfulness:

For I delight in faithfulness,
not simply in sacrifice;
I delight in acknowledging God, not
simply in whole burnt offerings.
(Hosea 6:6)

Later, in chapter 7, God says that He is ready to heal His people. But just as His arms are open wide and His compassion is kindled, they reveal their sins once again. They worship other gods. They abandon their Creator. I can almost see the sigh of sadness and hear God whisper: “Again, my child? Again?” 

Whenever I want to restore the fortunes of my people,
Whenever I want to heal Israel,
The sin of Ephraim is revealed,
And the evil deeds of Samaria are exposed.
(Hosea 7:1)

Of course, theologically speaking: God is never surprised by our sin. He isn’t actually sighing or asking “Again?” because He already knows all things, and He accepts – forever – His Son’s perfect sacrifice on our behalf. When God sees His children, He sees Jesus. Think of that pivotal moment in ‘Til We Have Faces (which we will read together when you’re older, after we have read all the Chronicles of Narnia) where Orual sees that her reflection resembles that of the beautiful Psyche (the story’s Christ figure). This was C.S. Lewis’ way of reminding believers: when God sees us, He sees the perfection of His Son.

I don’t want to take one ounce away from that truth – not one ounce – because it is the rock on which I want you to stand: your belovedness in Christ. It is everything. On your worst day, you can know that you are just as loved as the day before, because Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His consistency is our anchor. 

But you will also see in Scripture how much God wants our hearts. He wants our allegiance and our faithfulness, not to earn our salvation –  Jesus already did that – but as worship. God longs for our worship, and there is no one more deserving. Which brings me back to Hosea. We can hold our salvation in our back pockets and keep kicking around with sin. We can say, “God is gracious, so I can sin now, and repent later.” And beloved, even when we are so sinful as to take God’s grace granted, He forgives. But the heart of the true Christian longs to worship God. To honor Him. As that old hymn says, to:

“Trust and obey
for there’s no other way
to be happy in Jesus
but to trust and obey.” 

The Christian response to God’s glory and what He has given us in Christ is worship and faithfulness. It will be imperfect. We will still sin – and daily, I’m afraid – but the Child of God longs for their one, true Creator God:

So let us search for him!
Let us seek to know the LORD! 
He will come to our rescue as certainly 
as the appearance of the dawn.
(Hosea 6:3)

I’ve written plenty about the words “I’m sorry” in the past, mainly because it is another phrase Dad and I tried to teach you. And you’ve got it down, by the way. So much so that you have begun saying “I sorry” when you haven’t done anything wrong. When I drop the diaper cream while changing you, you say “I sorry, Mama.” When dad says, “We lost the remote,” you say: “I sorry.” We are quick to assure you that you needn’t apologize for those things. But I think I know why you do. 

I am a perpetual apologizer. I apologize when I’ve messed up, which is good, and I use the words “I’m sorry” to communicate empathy when someone is suffering, which is also good (your Nana and Papa taught me this), but I also say “I’m sorry” all throughout the day when I make small, unintentional mistakes. Sometimes I catch myself apologizing just for entering a room.

It is good to be quick to apologize for our sins, and to be humble. But I have you apologizing for things that have nothing to do with failure! I want you to live a life of fewer apologies and more faithfulness so that you, my beloved daughter, can live in the confidence of Christ, and save your apologies for true sin. God wants our worship more than our sacrifice. “I’m sorry” is never Plan A. Faithfulness is. 

All that to say, when you read the Bible, you will learn so many things: that God is both gracious, and jealous for our allegiance; that He can be angry, but He also forgives. Your Creator is worth getting to know, and you will never reach the bottom of that well. 

I love you, daughter. I am thankful for who you are every day.

Cover image by Mr Xerty.